47

This is my forty-seventh post.

That might not mean a lot to you. To me, it is pretty important. Not because of some blogging milestone or amazement at my number of posts thusfar. More like a special relationship with that number.

47.

If you watch Alias with me, you will probably understand this. For those of you who don't, watch this:



This post also beats my record for number of posts in a month, so yay me!

dream on

Ok, for some reason I am sitting in my room re-listening to the "dream" songs from Glee last week (the Joss Whedon one, people. Don't pretend that wasn't the best episode all season).

What am I saying? I know why I'm here.

My Uncle Larry and cousin Christian are coming to stay with us. They should be here any minute, actually. We found out sometime this afternoon, and if my mother's blog is any testament, we're kind of freaking out. Probably because when we go to New Orleans we always stay at their house and it's always really clean. Not that our house isn't.

Well. Maybe it isn't. But it's homey. My friends sometimes call it The Burrow. Which I consider a compliment.

I guess.

Anyway, we've been cleaning cleaning cleaning since I got home from babysitting (I drove home on 400 for 20 minutes with the parking break on. Eff up of the week.) and I have just come up to shower so I can sit on the couch (long story. Well, not really. We washed the slip cover today).

Except sometime in the shower I got the "I dreamed a dream" song stuck in my head and couldn't rest until I listened to the Glee version. We totally called the Idina-mommy storyline, btw.

And here I am. I am probably needed downstairs soon to greet the guests. More later.

leopard shorts

Can girls be hipsters? -my mom

you tell me.

images courtesy of latfh.com

ghost goats

Would you rather scare a sheep or tip a cow? -Shane

I feel like I should respond to this question with some form of indignation and a plug for my crusade for animal rights. But I can't.

I love animals. Especially in barbecue sauce.

So, to answer your question, Shane, I would rather chase a goat. Not just any old goat, though. This kind:

Discovery Channel went through some kind of phase a while ago where this creature was on all of their shows. And by "all" I mean Dirty Jobs and Mythbusters. Which are the only shows that really matter, anyway. From my TV viewing expertise, I learned that these goats stiffen when frightened and "faint." Shepherds typically include one or two of these babies in their herd so that if the flock is ever chased by a ravenous wolf or other such beast, this guy tips over and bears its wrath. This is also where the term "scape goat" comes from. So there you go.

I hate goats. Their eyes are bulbous and penetrating and give me the feeling that they are simultaneously peering into my soul and staring at a fly on its own back. Creepy. So any chance I could get to tip one over would be extremely satisfying. Except it would mean actually entering a pen of goats. No thanks.

qna

It worked!

What exactly is your job going to consist of? How do you like your eggs? If you could go anywhere in the world dressed like any animal, where/what would it be and why? -Jenna

wow. That is a actually quite a few questions. Which I deeply appreciate. You have accomplished this assignment beautifully, Jenna. I am going to respond to these one at a time, instead of all simultaneously (if you are wondering, THAT answer is "donknscsufinlhare." Which just doesn't make any sense).

• My job- well, isn't that a mystery. I will know more after our orientation tomorrow morning, but for now, my understanding is that I will be supervising small children skip through a cavalcade of glorified sprinklers known as a "splash park" at a city park, hopefully while wearing an important-looking t-shirt and sporting a whistle around my neck like all the pros do. And I will also get to sell concessions out of an air-conditioned hut and disappoint approximately 12 kids per hour with the response: "no, we don't sell Dip n' Dots anymore." Oh, and I get to run birthday parties!
  

• eggs. An important issue. I like my eggs scrambled, usually. My dad makes them with bacon pieces cooked inside sometimes. This is delicious. He originally called them boyscout eggs, because apparently when you're camping (like a boyscout) it's easiest just to cook everything together. Sometime between brownies and junior girl scouts I convinced him to change the name to "scout eggs" because it was a gender neutral term and therefor less sexist. Sexism and breakfast are not a good combo. Like Oreos and orange juice. Or country music and 80's-style workout montages. Just doesn't work.

• Final question! I would stay far away from Tokyo, I'll tell you that much. They have those weird furry fetishists... Hmm. I would disguise myself as a bear and hide by the Vienna sausages at the grocery store. And by hide, I mean just stand there. Can you imagine how many people I could save by scaring them away from such a hideous processed meat project? At least 8.

What Star Wars planet would you most want to live on? -Marca

• According to Tom Scott's Star Wars weather forecaster, it is currently "like Tatooine out there!" Big surprise. I would definitely not live on Tatooine. Two suns? REALLY, Tatooine? Also, I don't look very good in oatmeal/sand colors.
  

• I would live on Alderaan. I know what you're thinking "WHAT? That place BLEW UP!" I know. Hear me out. It was apparently very beautiful and peaceful when Leia lived there, you know, before it was blasted by the Death Star. They also had some spunk, rebelling against the Galactic Alliance. Plus, I would place a bunch of bets on how long the planet would last and then win all kinds of money because I would escape with all the rich people before the planet blows up and point and say "See? 5:00 on Wednesday. Cough it up." Then I would move to Naboo. But I would stay the eff away from the Gungans because they are all super annoying.
  

This was fun! More questions, please!

mom, this is a hipster

Mom,

this is what a hipster is:

http://www.latfh.com/

?

I really want to write today, but I have nothing to say. Not that that usually stops me.

It's at times like this I wish I had a huuuuge readership and I could just say: "I have nothing to say. Post some questions in the comments and I'll answer them."

So I'm gonna try it anyway.


I have nothing to say. Post some questions in the comments and I'll answer them!


Oh, and in the mean time, do read Ask the Bloggess and enjoy.