Monday, July 19, 2010

RLS: "Friend of Hookface" pt 2

So I gave my number to Hookface's friend, because Hookface was busy shoving bikes in his trunk. I didn't have the foresight or quick thinking to give him a fake number, and I thought What harm could it do?

Marca and I escaped down King St, not even venturing to glance behind us as we walked/ran away. We were starving, and as we walked we debated places to eat. An adventure of this quality could not be followed by campus food! We needed something special and delicious. We needed Hobbit's Foot Pizza (Mellow Mushroom's Magical Mystery Tour pizza has feta, spinach, button mushrooms- basically it looks like you scraped it off the bottom of Samwise's furry feet. And it's delicious, I promise). So we called a couple friends of ours because we needed an audience.

To remember who/what he was, he appeared in my phone as "Justin Seaman" because that was his name, and he was, well, in the Navy.

During dinner, the guy (henceforth known as Justin Seaman) texted me things like "In the ER!" or "This is taking forever!" I noticed he was a lot more excited and friendly-sounding via text and neglected to throw in his favorite four letter word. I responded when the text necessitated a response, hoping he would realize I wasn't really interested and just fade away.

The next morning, I went with a group of friends to the Farmer's Market in Marion Square to get brunch. As I sat eating my red beans and Abita root beer from the New Orleans tent, I get a notification: a text from Justin Seaman! "What's up?"

I ignored it for a few hours, pretending I was asleep. After a while I felt guilty and said something boring and noncommittal like "not much."

Over the next two weeks (the last week of classes and exams) he would pop into my phone every few days, usually asking what's up or informing me that he doesn't have a curfew next weekend (wink). Awesome. I changed his name to "Friend of Hookface" so I would really remember who he was. I told him I was moving back to Atlanta for the summer, and he finally left me alone and stopped asking to meet up.

I was finally rid of him!

Or so I thought.

Yesterday, YESTERDAY, I got a text while I was in the concession stand at work. I'm going to put the whole conversation here, because there is no chance of him finding this blog and it's a really funny story.

Friend of Hookface 7/18 4:28- Hey!

WHAT? I hadn't talked to this guy in months and only for a few hours on that pier. Either I left quite an impression or he is lonely and desperate. From what I know about some of the Navy guys and MOST of the Citadel guys, the latter is more likely.

I didn't know if I should say anything, and I sent texts to a few friends that knew the story and asked "what should I do?" My favorite was my friend brad who responded "Play dead?"

Me 6:03- Hey (notice I have no inflection at all and I responded almost two hours later)
FoHf 6:08- What have you been up to? (of course)
Me 6:09- Working a lot. (I started responding more frequently because it was raining yesterday and the splashground was dead. I was really bored)
FoHf 6:11- Bummer, where at?
Me 6:12- A park. Selling ice cream right now. You? (I thought at this point, it was only polite to include a question mark on my end)
FoHf 6:13- Waiting for school to start up, where is the park at? (now that's a creepy question. I'm sure if the park were in the Charleston area, he would have come to find me)
Me 6:14- Roswell GA (emphasis on the GEORGIA)
FoHf 6:16- When you coming back to SC? (of course)
Me 6:59- (fourty minutes later) In a few weeks (vague). Can't wait to get outta here! (meaning work, Mom, not your lovely house)
FoHf 7:00- Sweet! Did I meet you at the pier?

what? clearly my name in his phone is not "girl at pier" or "Fish hook chick" which I guess is good?

Me 7:00- (laughing, deciding to "play it cool") I think so
FoHf 7:01- yeah fishhook? (that's not a question)
Me 7:04- haha yeah
FoHf 7:05- Cool! Sorry I didn't keep in touch!



I was so busy laughing I didn't respond. For a while.

FoHf 7:25- You workin now? (get outta my business, bro!)
Me 8:08- Just got out. At grandma's house.
FoHf 8:10- Sounds fun, ya just visiting or what? (this guy must be really bored.)

At this point, I had told the story to Mumma and she was helping me with evasive maneuvers. "You should have said that you were going to move back the 15th, but your boyfriend can't move back till the 30th," she said. I looked at his last message and got an idea.

Me 8:16- I'm introducing my boyfriend to the family.
FoHf 8:19- sweet sounds fun.

Conversation OVER.


  1. I second Jenna's high five.

  2. Sounds like you need a Google Voice number. It's not completely fake, but you can totally ignore people you don't want calling/texting you.